Introduction
We all need someone in our life, whether it be
a close friend we can share our hobbies with, an indirect relative that may
have nurtured us through our childhood and holds fast to our desires in life,
or a true love we have trivially been lucky to find in our lives. Whether this
relationship is a healthy one, or something we hold steadfast too until we find
something better, will stay with us for a time, if it be a week, a year, or a
lifetime.
One
thing I find fascinating about the human species is the fact that we cannot
survive alone. While others species of mammal tend to fend for themselves, we
can only stand for ourselves so long until we must latch onto someone for that
sense of companionship to feel complete. Today, I would like to talk about this
recurring event in the hopes that I may enrich your idea in better
understanding this sense of occurrence, and hopefully by the end of this
article, improve my own perspective on the matter as well.
The
“Hive”
When you
think of the word “hive”, your first thoughts are most likely associated with
that of a swarm of bees, and how their dedication to protecting, defending, and
optimizing the hive’s operation is the one and only objective of this swarm; in
addition, ensuring the queen bee is being provided what she needs. If you think
on the level of these bees for a moment, there is no division among them, but
only a common desire and goal to protect what they believe to be “The right
thing to do”. They were raised, from birth, to learn and understand the concept
of working in harmony with their fellow bee friends to create the most powerful
and unfaltering hive they possibly can.
Maybe
your thoughts after reading these words were “Why are we talking about bees
again”, or maybe, if you understand figurative explanations, your input might
be “I think I know where you’re going with this.” Well, I believe you are
right. Think back to the time you were attending high school, and just hit that
point in life when you started getting a little more rebellious. Your
associations with certain people became a little stronger. Maybe you had an interest
in rock and grunge music. How did your sense of dress or mannerisms compliment
that? Were they that of your own, or were they that of the “social norm” you
observed at the time? Maybe you were involved with a group of girls that
listened to mainstream (At the time) pop music and had an undying interest in
the school jock. One of these girls though had an interest in the “nerd” in
science class (Who, by the way, is most likely the one who helped in creating
intuitive, fresh ideas for the world to know, but you won’t know that until you
see him on national television one day), but you didn’t want to admit it for
fear of getting cut from the group, so you just went with the flow of things.
This is
what I like to call the “Hive mind”. The people who need to belong somewhere.
In a group. Whether these ideals are true to you, you don’t care about your own
individual social needs, as long as those around you provide what you need,
regardless if your outlook on things is null of what your friends and everyone
else says.
A lack
of appreciation
Sometimes,
people are given so much in life, but when the time comes and they’re not
compensated as such, they feel entitled to this level of previous pampering
they had received. We all know people are selfish, and I will say that if I
were raised this way, I would’ve probably been the same as well, but when it
comes down to it, people need to suffer sometimes. Not so much because anyone
wants to see anyone suffer (Unless you're just a little sick in the head), but
because it forces us to adapt, for the better. It makes them really appreciate
what they had, what they have, and what they can have when they put in the
appropriate amount of work necessary.
Let’s
take, for example, the people who have a relationship with someone, but feel
like because they get in a fight once in awhile over something trivial, they
feel it’s the end of the relationship, and to validate this, they overview
their social media and become jealous about the “Perfect relationships” they
see in their news feed. News flash: There is no such thing as perfect. Just as
some things are transparent to us, so is what all goes on in the other couple’s
relationship. If you really think talking out a few things and making a few
compromises is less important than your relationship with that person you truly
care about, then you’re not ready for one. As you make a look while you read
this, you’ll tell me I’m right one day. If you ever meet me, that is. You’re
either in or out (Or maybe you’re just trying to have some fun. Cool on you).
What
does this all boil down to? Conditioning, whether it be the parents that raised
you, or the habits that you put yourself into that were either directly or
indirectly manifested. If you continue to believe in something, or see
something for only part of what it actually is, you will never appreciate
it.
What do
I believe powers a strong relationship with your significant other? Firstly,
similar interests do not come to mind, for those that think that is your way
in. However, similar goals and aspirations, not necessarily in the same line of
work, is what make a powerful relationship. When you can support each other
through trial and bliss, when you are actively listening and genuinely
interested in sharing a life with someone, and when you can truly be yourself
with this person without feeling the need to “fit in” is when you know you’ll
go far with this person. Who cares about what others think when you can share
your individuality with each other?
The Need
for “Diversity”
Before I go on, I’d like to state a few quotes that this article is based off
of: “Development and human needs” by Manfred Max-Neef. This document reflects
the basis of human need, whether it be substinence, affection, or the need for
social organization. Here’s one section I find very true: “It is the satisfiers
which define the prevailing mode that a culture or a society ascribes to
needs.” Followed by the sentence “Satisfiers may include, among other things,
forms of organization, political structures, social practices, subjective
conditions, values and norms, spaces, contexts, modes, types of behaviors and
attitudes, all of which are in a permanent state of tension between consolidation
and change.”(Max-Neef,
Elizalde, & Hopenhayn, 1992) In essence, we need a structure that can
provide us those rules that consider certain practices “appropriate” and define
our ethics.
Let’s
take, for example, America. Typically, the average American associates most commonly
with being Democrat or Republican, being some form of Christian, listens to the
“mainstream” music, sometimes desires a common degree such as law or some form
of business degree (Just one example), watches the hottest new TV show
(Breaking Bad anyone), and loves watching NFL. Am I on the right track? It’s
great to have such interests! There is only one problem: Over time, people
start putting labels on each other, and when their association is “threatened”
(As in someone who has another set of ideals), these people begin to feel that
they are trying to change them in some way, and push away and that do not
associate in their realm of the “social norm”. While these social organizations
create a cornerstone of friendship, companionship, and association, it is also
what breaks us apart.
When
people hear words these days such as Muslim, Communist, or any other social
organization that is heavily criticized, they don’t come to look into the true
meaning of any of it. It is simply a label they use to keep their conformity to
what they believe is right. When people come to the realization (Which will be
never for most) these ideals simply started out as something to establish
ethics and moral dos and don'ts, and that everyone is just a human being trying
to be someone in the world, that will be the day people are at peace with each
other, no matter your religion, political affiliation, or ethnicity. What
started out as one idea, is misconceived to be something completely distorted
overtime due to the exaggeration or misinterpretations of certain details,
whether it be connotative or denotative. We may refer to this phenomena as the
"Telephone game".
Conclusion
First I talked to you about the hive mind and how it tends to force people into
a social organization they can find belonging in, regardless if they really
want to in the beginning, then I talked to you about the lack of appreciation
those who were given more than others have and feel entitled to. Lastly, I talked
about how people’s ideals both bring them together and divide them. This post
may have not convinced you of changing your views about anything, but I will
leave you with this: Are you going to be the person everyone wishes you to be?
Or are you going to be the person you wish to be? It’s your choice
