What Influences an Individual? Pt I

Short note: This is not some mishmosh of principles by prominent individuals like Robert Cialdini or Richard Bandler.

This is an aggregate on factors, including those that are psychological, genetic, spiritual, cultural and scientific in nature.

Modern "science" has excluded important factors to consider when it comes to the influence of an individual. This is primarily in the failure to separate politics from science. One thing the founding fathers should've accounted for centuries ago. The five high-level categories to consider are:

- Genetic
- Cultural
- Spiritual
- Psychological
- Informational

First I will cover examples of these individually, then we will see how these things can be interdependent or complimentary to each other. Finally, we will run through some of my hypotheses

Genetics

The Blank Slate

There's a theory out there named "The Blank Slate" or "Tabula Rasa". It basically theorizes a child is born with no built-in mental content, and all knowledge is accumulated through experience or perception.

While I do agree experience and perception are essential in the development of a child's understanding of the world, I fundamentally disagree with a generalized definition that, even with genes mutating constantly, no built-in mental content isn't given to the next generation.

Let's think about this for a moment: You can all agree there were kids at the age of 5 who easily detected things other kids couldn't. Instincts that they had even as a very young child. There were some kids that were naturally good at learning English.

It's possible that their developed mental models through experience contributed to that, but if so, why did their twin (hypothetically speaking) not possess the same ability, even though they went to the exact same school and the exact same curriculum with the exact same teacher?

I've known multiple identical twins. Each are very different.

You can think through this all you want, but ultimately this alone invalidates the concept of tabula rasa.

I do think that there are certain types of information that can only be achieved by experience, but this is where tabula rasa falls short. It's too general.

Alright, so off of Tabula Rasa. Let's talk about how else genetics contribute to influence.

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Chemically-induced influence

I've said that the information an infant possesses, based on its acquired genetic expression, plays a part in this influence. Here's another component: Chemically-induced factors (Chemicals naturally released by the body).

Ever wondered why there's more violence that happens in Southern US vs the northern one? The two primary factors here are: Culture and genetics.

What separates the north from south? Simply put, the north has more of an English presence while the south has a more Scottish one. What does that have to do with anything? A lot.

Whenever someone provokes you (In an angry manner), there is a chemical that's released in your brain. The longer the chemical lingers, the more likely you are to start something (Get in a fight, pull a gun, etc). In an Englishmen's brain, this chemical lingers for a very short time. Whereas for a Scot, the chemical lingers for about 6 times longer.

You see a northerner talk some smack to another Northerner and they laugh and shrug it off. You see a Southerner talk shit to another Southerner? It's on...

The south's culture is a culmination of many things, which includes its history, spirituality, but most importantly, its gene pool. This honor culture manifests from the previous three things mentioned.

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Gender Influence

Finally, let's talk about gender. No, man and woman are NOT alike. Men and women don't manage the same, speak the same, walk the same, make the same gestures, don't define happiness the same, nor are their sexual fantasies even remotely similar in comparison.

If you find this offensive and sexist, I don't care. It's a fact. If you come at me with that "Gender is a social construct" bullshit, let me remind you that's a cultist opinion, not a scientific fact.

And if you tell me you believe in genetics but don't believe in the differences between man and woman, then I'd simply tell you to check your blatant contradiction.

Women tend to be more grounded in emotion rather than logic.

Logical women exist, but they still have the motherly instincts attached to them, therefore the emotion affects their judgement.

Women LOVE rhetoric dialog. I've seen very few women that can follow dialectic dialog. Reality TV shows and Netflix run rampant with cleverly crafted dialog, hence why they enjoy it so much as their pastime.

Understand this is not gender wars crap I'm writing, but the point being here that if a woman doesn't understand it, it can't influence her.

Therefore, the communication medium that typically works best as a gender-neutral approach is rhetoric. Reserve the dialectic dialog for those super objective male friends of yours.

Men tend to be more convinced via logic or things that conform alongside beliefs of theirs, whereas women do not comprehend logic in the same way. You have to make them FEEL the story. Hence why stories and analogies can work well for general audiences.

Think about the last ten advertisements you watched. Where did they put the information content? In tiny letters on the bottom of the screen. The story that made you feel bad for the dying dog was what made you think about buying the product.

To Be Continued

Molon Labe.

Antonius.

The Magic of What You Say

"I don't think so..."

"I don't think, so..."

Look at the two phrases above.

So simple, yet a very different meaning is portrayed.

Language is one of those things often misunderstood today. We focus all too often on using big words and sounding fancy, yet most can't write a simple email to save their life.

When it comes to what you say, there are several things to consider:

1. Interpretation

You may think that someone will think just like you, but they're not you. For example, you might enjoy using metaphors or you try getting technical to use big words because you think it'll make you sound 'wise'.

Let's be realistic: The majority of the population is not a poetry major, nor are they all-knowing of technical fields. The failure to consider your audience here is a big one, and your frustration with getting them to understand your message has nothing to do with their naivety, but instead your failure to understand your audience. How do we understand our audience? What are the best methods of getting our point across? Here is a few things to consider.

A. Tell a story

People love stories. At the same times, most people don't want to try and comprehend an intrinsic message wound into the story. Keep the message simple, and the story's vocabulary simple. People will resonate with that

B. Leverage the analogy

Analogies become very useful when you're trying to explain a topic the audience isn't familiar with. Things like AI, mathematical formulae, and epigenetics are not subjects the average Joe Schmoe understands, nor do they care to. The only time they want to understand it ENOUGH is when it affects them in some way. Which leads me to my third point...

C. Make the message resonate

You need to get the audience feeling for you. So, it's as simple as tying some experience in that they can relate to, no matter how simple this experience may be. Starting your first job, conducting home improvement on the new house, the feeling you get when you can't fit in those oversized clothes you have because you lost so much weight, etc.

D. Say a little, but mean a lot

Have you ever talked to someone who says so much but doesn't really seem to get to the point until 20 minutes later? Yeah, you know who I'm talking about.

I especially see this in meetings. Meetings about meetings about meetings. Here's the problem with this: being concise in what you say helps you to be perceived as a strong speaker. People lose respect for the guy who they feel is a time vampire. They will avoid you. Not only that, they often get lost in translation because you have so much fluff in your message. Be concise. Get to the point. Move on.

2. Feeling in Words

This point will be used to build upon the third point, so pay attention to this one.

What kind of words are you using to talk to someone? How do you say it? Are you beaming? Hostile? Indifferent? Excited?

"I really enjoyed going to the park today!" is not sufficiently convincing. If you don't say it with meaning, people can't take you seriously. You need to sound authentic. Not robotic. Not half-commited.

"The park wasn't too bad." Ok, you sound a bit less optimistic in dialog, but maybe you sound content in your tonality. The same dialog could have the same impression the above one does.

Speak with Intent and congruency. Do you actually enjoy the park? Was it that great? Then say so with the proper dialog, energy, and posture. Without a sense of congruency, people lose trust in what you say at an unconscious level.

3. Self Declaration and Speaking your Will into Existence

This builds off of the previous point, and is THE MOST important part of this post.

What you SPEAK into existence, alongside your bodily expression when speaking said thing into existence, is absolutely paramount in how you WILL go about life.

What happens when you say something like:

"I have to go to work" with a pessimistic bodily expression shows you what you think about how you see work.

"I'm annoyed"

"I'm complacent"

"I'd rather be doing something else"

Ok, fair enough. Who will pay the bills then? Who will put the food on the table?

How well do you do your work? Probably "just good enough".

Your genetics have marginal effects on how you perform, although they do play a part. Your self declarations and how you SEE work have the greatest effect on how you conduct work.

On what companies you end up at.

At what awards you earn at work.

Now, reframe that phrase to:

"I GET to go to work."

Say it with MEANING, authenticity, and with POWER.

Ten times.

Twenty times.

Fifty times.

Take ten deep breaths.

Then go to work.

How is your productivity affected? How much more did you accomplish? How much more CONTENT are you with that day's work?

Now take that concept, and apply it to every part of your life.

What kind of character do you want to rebuild yourself into?

Instead of saying "That's good enough for me", ask yourself how you could've improved it for the next time around.

Instead of saying "I did my fifty pushups for the day", instead say "I ONLY did fifty pushups today". You then feel more obligated to push that boundary.

Reframe your attitude of how you see the things that give back to you. Of how you measure success. Of how you see hardship.

Instead of saying "It was really hard.", say "It was a challenge, but I'm ready for the next level".

What does this do for you?

It levels you up QUICKLY.

It helps you identify those who should be avoided (The energy vampires, as some like to call them).

It helps you to be happy with what you have but never be CONTENT.

That's all for now folks.

Until next time.

Anthony

The impending civil war

“Perceive that which cannot be seen with the eye.”

- Miyamoto Musashi

My friends, acquaintances, and enemies, I come to you now for the necessity of self-declaration.

One which has been inevitably approaching us for decades.

To neglect its inevitability is mere negligence.

I do not expect for you to anticipate such things as of yet, as to think in the short term, with a strong degree of rigidity, is a common attribute of the average man.

Loud mouths who believe they can save the west by way of trivial protest do nothing to slow the eerie approach of this monster.

The men you seek to oppose laugh at such efforts. They have the influence and resources to move you towards a wall you cannot escape, if they so please.

To assume they will be sympathetic to any extent, is an ignorant presumption.

Chaos does not act at an individual level, but at the magnitude of collectivist crowds who see their cause as "virtuous".

Their "moral compass" does not exist. It is, simply put, a one-sided emphasis for their own self-interest.

We were once a principled people. Actionably patriotic (Keyword actionably), principled, honorable, and driven to providing the freedom to choose. Even if that meant certain death.

No longer. Individuals are hypersensitive to the simplest of things. A little traffic on the road, establishment-driven propaganda that drives crowds to subjective violence, and intolerance to moderate dialog.

The illusion of "security" is valued over autonomy. The very robustness of our political establishment is being threatened by individuals who look to break things apart, all for self interest.

I thought man was a relatively sane individual. Through my years of studies and many experiences (Which I intentionally applied entropy to where I placed myself for the purpose of understanding human nature, as only seeing one side is not an objective assessment), what I've realized is many things.

Firstly, dictators did not rise by themselves. They were chosen and groomed by the crowd. The dictator's decision to do terrible things may have been decisions of these individuals, but their reason and position ended up there because the people of the time wanted it.

Perfect case study: The Roman people believed Julius Caesar was attempting to overthrow the Republic to become a dictator, so they had him assassinated. Ironically, the following individual they voted in turned out to be exactly what they said they were against (Octavius).

The point? Individuals, when placed in large enough crowds, are irrational. People think they know what they want, but most don't understand the implications, especially the long-term ones.

Second, man and woman are complementary to each other. There is no "better" or "worse". Excess nurture leads to mass genocide, cultural assassination, compromise of character, and inferior development from youth.

Too little nurture leads to stifled innovation, a lack of potential for scaling a civilization's capabilities, and even the possibility of killing off a particular civilization.

Finally, Pareto distribution is inevitable in the context of shared efforts. You have the lazy who will do anything to take from those who give their all in building and refining the systems and capabilities of mankind.

Excessive nurture and the pareto distribution are two pieces that, together, create a very disturbing result which contributes to, in essence, the beginnings of a socialist society.

The illegal immigration argument is so effective in this day and age because there are so many with a motherly instinct who possess no child (Or the desire to have one) that those motherly instincts shift to something much more clever (For the exploiter): selling illegal immigration using the tragedies of young children to shift the focus away from the problem, to a set of individuals.

This tactic is commonly employed among those who seem to enjoy the game of influence through shock-and-awe tactics (Because that's exactly what it is). No objectivity in argument. Instead, shift everyone away from the problem and focus on one individual, a group, an object, or something dependent (But trivial) on the important case at hand.

The war has already been waged, but most don't know it yet, because they are too drugged up. Physically, mentally, and spiritually. By the time many act, the die will already be cast.

The inevitable cycle. One that comes eventually to every epoch of time.

To this, I will say that I understand one person cannot control the world, but they can control their world.

In closing, I declare that I refuse to participate in this madness and will be planning my exit as swiftly as possible.

To waste my time fighting a monster that has already reached a size most have yet to understand cannot be defeated by one individual, but will likely have to first feed on a great many before the lessons are learned and the beast has become tamed (Or killed).

My efforts are now focused on mastery of many things. All which will be engaged in silence.

Opposing the philosophy of the head of the rat, neck of the bull.

To that, I take my leave.

Molon Labe.

Antonius

The Arch Nemesis, Pt I

Every day, individuals battle with their arch nemesis. Most of them don't even know it, nor do they know who or what that thing is.

Some will say they're "Taking on the world".

Some will say they're "Overcoming that best player on the court."

Some will say they're "Attempting to conquer that career hurdle."

That's great, but to accomplish any of these things does not defeat your arch nemesis.

It does not defeat the root of the problem.

Many of us go through life without thinking about what the root of the problem actually is.

We simply explore a set of routes that supposedly will give us that "big win" or "shortcut".

If we look closer at these routes however, we will eventually realize they were a waste of time.

They were simply distractions or a trend that had no properly assessed outcome.

It was simply a theory, created within the minds of those who have a distorted view of reality, which bled into their "rational" thinking process.

They seemed good in the short-term, but the long-term outlook was what we missed.

Short-sightedness due to this short-term thinking isn't uncommon. It's human nature.

If we can become conscious of it though, and catch it in the moment, that's when the more interesting things begin to occur.

That's the main message of the Matrix. Becoming "conscious". Aware. Observant. Vigilant.

Illuminating the realities we were desensitized to around us when we're young.

Some that we never learnt in the first place.

A lack of principle and structure in a society can do that to you.

Situational Awareness. Not just at a physical level, but at a mental level. At a spiritual level.

Consciousness is rising above the messages provided to sheep and recognizing its ambiguity or fallacies.

Consciousness is recognizing that some sheep cannot be "unplugged". At least, not at this point in time.

Consciousness is determining the wolves' intentions.

Consciousness is about discovering the lions in the den of outliers that have seen the reality.

Consciousness is about determining a defensive strategy against the destructive wolves.

Consciousness is about creating alliances with the lions we find to align with our reality, and avoiding or banishing the lions who do not.

Consciousness is about recognizing the facades you are presented everyday, and understanding the objective of those facades.

Consciousness is about finding the right information.

Consciousness is about fine-tuning an information filter that provides you a powerful practical approach to the world.

Becoming conscious requires only one victory in an individual's life.

That's right, ONLY one.

Some men never even accomplish this victory in their lifetimes.

They're distracted by an array of trivial things.

The majority of the world for you.

A giant distraction, presented in some different form every day.

Then pack on top of that temptation amplifiers.

Peer pressure, chemical imbalances through poor nutrition, all forms of addictive drugs glorified by the media or pop culture, shock tactics by propaganda...

What is this victory you must accomplish?

Who is it against.

Your arch nemesis, of course.

Is the arch nemesis your boss at your 9-to-5 job?

No.

Is the arch nemesis your government?

No.

Is the arch nemesis your family?

No.

Is the arch nemesis your financial situation?

No.

Is the arch nemesis your depression?

No.

The arch nemesis is you.

You are your own arch nemesis.

You are your own enemy.

Every day, you're the one willing yourself to clean your room. Or not.

Every day, you're the one willing yourself to go to work on time. Or not.

Every day, you're the one willing yourself to go to the gym. Or not.

Every day, you're the one willing yourself to eat the right things. Or not.

Every day, you're the one willing yourself to start (or end) that relationship. Or not.

Every day, you're the one willing yourself to pay the bills. Or not.

When you've recognized this reality, you progress to one of two stages.

Realization or denial.

Once you reach realization, then the real fun begins...

The Human Need

Introduction

We all need someone in our life, whether it be a close friend we can share our hobbies with, an indirect relative that may have nurtured us through our childhood and holds fast to our desires in life, or a true love we have trivially been lucky to find in our lives. Whether this relationship is a healthy one, or something we hold steadfast too until we find something better, will stay with us for a time, if it be a week, a year, or a lifetime.

One thing I find fascinating about the human species is the fact that we cannot survive alone. While others species of mammal tend to fend for themselves, we can only stand for ourselves so long until we must latch onto someone for that sense of companionship to feel complete. Today, I would like to talk about this recurring event in the hopes that I may enrich your idea in better understanding this sense of occurrence, and hopefully by the end of this article, improve my own perspective on the matter as well.

The “Hive”

When you think of the word “hive”, your first thoughts are most likely associated with that of a swarm of bees, and how their dedication to protecting, defending, and optimizing the hive’s operation is the one and only objective of this swarm; in addition, ensuring the queen bee is being provided what she needs. If you think on the level of these bees for a moment, there is no division among them, but only a common desire and goal to protect what they believe to be “The right thing to do”. They were raised, from birth, to learn and understand the concept of working in harmony with their fellow bee friends to create the most powerful and unfaltering hive they possibly can.

Maybe your thoughts after reading these words were “Why are we talking about bees again”, or maybe, if you understand figurative explanations, your input might be “I think I know where you’re going with this.” Well, I believe you are right. Think back to the time you were attending high school, and just hit that point in life when you started getting a little more rebellious. Your associations with certain people became a little stronger. Maybe you had an interest in rock and grunge music. How did your sense of dress or mannerisms compliment that? Were they that of your own, or were they that of the “social norm” you observed at the time? Maybe you were involved with a group of girls that listened to mainstream (At the time) pop music and had an undying interest in the school jock. One of these girls though had an interest in the “nerd” in science class (Who, by the way, is most likely the one who helped in creating intuitive, fresh ideas for the world to know, but you won’t know that until you see him on national television one day), but you didn’t want to admit it for fear of getting cut from the group, so you just went with the flow of things.

This is what I like to call the “Hive mind”. The people who need to belong somewhere. In a group. Whether these ideals are true to you, you don’t care about your own individual social needs, as long as those around you provide what you need, regardless if your outlook on things is null of what your friends and everyone else says.

A lack of appreciation

Sometimes, people are given so much in life, but when the time comes and they’re not compensated as such, they feel entitled to this level of previous pampering they had received. We all know people are selfish, and I will say that if I were raised this way, I would’ve probably been the same as well, but when it comes down to it, people need to suffer sometimes. Not so much because anyone wants to see anyone suffer (Unless you're just a little sick in the head), but because it forces us to adapt, for the better. It makes them really appreciate what they had, what they have, and what they can have when they put in the appropriate amount of work necessary.

Let’s take, for example, the people who have a relationship with someone, but feel like because they get in a fight once in awhile over something trivial, they feel it’s the end of the relationship, and to validate this, they overview their social media and become jealous about the “Perfect relationships” they see in their news feed. News flash: There is no such thing as perfect. Just as some things are transparent to us, so is what all goes on in the other couple’s relationship. If you really think talking out a few things and making a few compromises is less important than your relationship with that person you truly care about, then you’re not ready for one. As you make a look while you read this, you’ll tell me I’m right one day. If you ever meet me, that is. You’re either in or out (Or maybe you’re just trying to have some fun. Cool on you).

What does this all boil down to? Conditioning, whether it be the parents that raised you, or the habits that you put yourself into that were either directly or indirectly manifested. If you continue to believe in something, or see something for only part of what it actually is, you will  never appreciate it.

What do I believe powers a strong relationship with your significant other? Firstly, similar interests do not come to mind, for those that think that is your way in. However, similar goals and aspirations, not necessarily in the same line of work, is what make a powerful relationship. When you can support each other through trial and bliss, when you are actively listening and genuinely interested in sharing a life with someone, and when you can truly be yourself with this person without feeling the need to “fit in” is when you know you’ll go far with this person. Who cares about what others think when you can share your individuality with each other?

The Need for “Diversity”

            Before I go on, I’d like to state a few quotes that this article is based off of: “Development and human needs” by Manfred Max-Neef. This document reflects the basis of human need, whether it be substinence, affection, or the need for social organization. Here’s one section I find very true: “It is the satisfiers which define the prevailing mode that a culture or a society ascribes to needs.” Followed by the sentence “Satisfiers may include, among other things, forms of organization, political structures, social practices, subjective conditions, values and norms, spaces, contexts, modes, types of behaviors and attitudes, all of which are in a permanent state of tension between consolidation and change.”(Max-Neef, Elizalde, & Hopenhayn, 1992) In essence, we need a structure that can provide us those rules that consider certain practices “appropriate” and define our ethics.

Let’s take, for example, America. Typically, the average American associates most commonly with being Democrat or Republican, being some form of Christian, listens to the “mainstream” music, sometimes desires a common degree such as law or some form of business degree (Just one example), watches the hottest new TV show (Breaking Bad anyone), and loves watching NFL. Am I on the right track? It’s great to have such interests! There is only one problem: Over time, people start putting labels on each other, and when their association is “threatened” (As in someone who has another set of ideals), these people begin to feel that they are trying to change them in some way, and push away and that do not associate in their realm of the “social norm”. While these social organizations create a cornerstone of friendship, companionship, and association, it is also what breaks us apart.

When people hear words these days such as Muslim, Communist, or any other social organization that is heavily criticized, they don’t come to look into the true meaning of any of it. It is simply a label they use to keep their conformity to what they believe is right. When people come to the realization (Which will be never for most) these ideals simply started out as something to establish ethics and moral dos and don'ts, and that everyone is just a human being trying to be someone in the world, that will be the day people are at peace with each other, no matter your religion, political affiliation, or ethnicity. What started out as one idea, is misconceived to be something completely distorted overtime due to the exaggeration or misinterpretations of certain details, whether it be connotative or denotative. We may refer to this phenomena as the "Telephone game".

Conclusion

            First I talked to you about the hive mind and how it tends to force people into a social organization they can find belonging in, regardless if they really want to in the beginning, then I talked to you about the lack of appreciation those who were given more than others have and feel entitled to. Lastly, I talked about how people’s ideals both bring them together and divide them. This post may have not convinced you of changing your views about anything, but I will leave you with this: Are you going to be the person everyone wishes you to be? Or are you going to be the person you wish to be? It’s your choice

   

Max-Neef, M., Elizalde, A., & Hopenhayn, M. (1992). Development and human needs. Real-Life Economics: understanding wealth creation, edited by: Ekins, P. and Max-Neef, M., Routledge, London, 197-213.

Why every diet works

            “If we only knew now what we knew then.”

                                                                        -Unknown

            So you’ve been on a diet. Or two. Or three. Or maybe you’ve been on all of the diets! At this point you’re probably saying “Nothing works for me! I have tried every single diet, and at this point, I’m ready to give up!” The biggest problem I find with some diets these days is the fact that people have to make it so complicated (That includes training too, which I will talk about later). You’ve tried the Paleo diet, you’ve tried the vegan diet, you’ve tried the juice diet, the twinky diet, etc. The list goes on and on, but in the end, when you’re trying to get exact with your macronutrients by the end of the day, how long will it be until you just break and give up? In this chapter, I’d like to address the fundamentals of why every diet works (evening just by eating portions), and what kind of habits you can implement to begin improving your lifestyle today rather than tomorrow.

Everyone is different

            Everyone is unique in their own physiological and psychological ways (Some could use some work). Maybe you want to look like Tom Hardy, Hugh Jackman, or Christian Bale (I would include the Rock, but ‘roid raging doesn’t count). If you’re a woman, maybe you want to look like Jessica Biel, Kate Beckinsale, or Jamie Eason. Just as everyone has their own special conditions in which they can’t eat certain foods. This could range from nuts, grains, dairy, etc. The fact of the matter is all diets work, but some of them don’t work for others because they either have a certain condition, or maybe because the person lacks the intrinsic motivation to not eat certain foods. A study in 2005 comparing the Atkins, Ornish, Weight Watchers and Zone diets showed that, overall, everyone in a controlled environment had similar weight loss results(Dansinger, Gleason, Griffith, Selker, & Schaefer, 2005).

            If you want a successful journey through fat loss (Or addition of muscle mass depending on your goals), choosing a diet plan to adhere to is only one step in the process of successfully completing it. You need to constitute in every other aspect of the process. Set your goals properly, get a fitness program, a diet, find some social support, and go do what you want to get done! Just don’t constantly change your plan because it’s “Not working”. Take into account the following equation stated below:

Energy in= Energy out + Change in Body Energy stores

            This is, in its simplest form, the laws of thermodynamics (In bodily terms, that is). People today have the mentality that doing nothing will get them something. Let me ask you this question: If you shot your best friend in the foot because you were angry at him, do you think he would just sit there and do nothing about it? Unless your best friend is a volleyball with blood smears on it (See what I did there?), then I would assume that your friend is going to respond unkindly. Simply stated, with every action there is an equal or exceeding reaction. If you want the body of your dreams, this isn’t the welfare line folks: You have to put in some work.

            Let me make this clear: While the moderation diet may be working for you, it may not work for someone else. Giving someone a one size fits all sort of program does not work for everyone. I understand that. This is where making a choice comes in. I will give my insight into my recommendations for everyone who is reading this right now. You can choose what I tell you, or if you feel like doing some more digging, I will provide you with resources to many diets you will find in Appendix A.

Dieting for Muscle Growth

            Maybe your goal isn’t trying to lose fat. Maybe you’re trying to try to get back instead (In a good way that is). Going off of the energy equation above, the same principles apply. If you want to gain muscle mass, there is two things that will help you achieve this goal: The appropriate volume and intensity in your weight training program, and a calorie surplus. I know you’re probably saying “But I don’t want to get fat!” You’re going to have to come to the realization that if you want to gain muscle, you may have to put a little fat on with that. Putting on muscle doesn’t come from consuming excess fat. It comes from consuming excess calories. I highly recommend focusing on only one goal at a time though. Unless you’re below ~15% bodyfat (Or ~19% bodyfat for females) I would not recommend mass gain until you achieve cutting down to the appropriate composition first, as this could cause many different issues (High blood pressure  being one of them). It’s your body though. You don’t have to take my word for it.

            One other thing is people putting on mass think this is the time to go all out and eat whatever they want. While I’m not going to say to not do this, as it does work for many people, this is not recommended as the word moderation tends to be thrown out the window when people begin a bulking diet. I will discuss appropriate bulking rules and some good methods of doing so in the coming chapters.

Social Support: Your Success multiplier

            It has been one of the most observable things in not only stressful changes, but also in trying to achieve fitness-related goals. Social support is a must if you hope to achieve long term success in reaching the body of your dreams. A study was conducted on couples in relationships and their rate of success in achieving their goals. Let’s just say that the numbers speak for themselves (Brunstein, Dangelmayer, & Schultheiss, 1996). Now I know you may be thinking that you aren’t in a relationship, and the only people you can depend on are your friends, but as long as there is a mutual end goal, then you will multiply your bouts of objective-oriented success to your goals, fitness or not.

            Making these kinds of changes is the ones that put stress on are in life, because the amount of change that we are experiencing at times can seem detrimental to our life’s progress. You’ve most likely been in a stringent situation in your life where decisions had to be made quickly. As this was going to induce change, you didn’t know if it were for the better or worse of your well being, you just knew that things should be happening another day, just not today! Am I right or am I right? Many people, believe it or not, tend to see change as something greater than death to them. I would say just think of it as if you were the phoenix. You’ll rise from the ashes again, greater than before (Bugental & Bugental, 1984).

Your Lack of Patience and obsession with the scale

            If there is anything that will kill your progress quicker than binge drinking every night on the weekend, it is obsessing over those numbers on the scale. It’s understandable that you want to lose 30 pounds, but have you set your goals? If you want to lose more than one or two pounds a week, then you’re really pushing the limits. “I weighed myself after the first week though and it said I lost five pounds! Explain that!” Two words: Water weight. Whether it was from the little bit of fat you lost, or because you have nearly depleted your glycogen stores because your body isn’t used to metabolizing its energy this quickly, water weight is your number one answer. If you weigh 400 pounds and lost that much, that may be a different story. As you lose more fat and get down to that area of “lean” (Depending on your definition of the word), yes things will get more difficult, but when you lost no weight during the week, you need to assess why. “Did I have enough of a calorie deficit?” If yes, wait another week or two, and if you stay consistent, I guarantee you there’ll be a massive drop of between 3-6 pounds (Depending on you).

           

            As for the scale, sure it can be somewhat reliable, but how does your body look? If the progress is visible in the mirror, but not on the scale, then there is really no necessity to worry about such silly things. You’re making progress! Are you getting compliments? Do you feel lighter? The simplest things to observe are many times the most reliable. Who knew?

These Foods are the only ones you should eat

            Let’s make this clear: While whole wheat bread may be “Better” for you, it doesn’t mean you should completely eliminate bagels or French bread from your diet that is refined. While they may not be the best to be eating all the time, you’re not going to potentially die from high blood pressure unless it’s your breakfast every morning (Maybe you won’t, but it’s the trend these days). Ladies who have a fascination with ice cream (Or gelatos. Or frozen yogurt (I prefer cheesecake to be honest)), guess what? You don’t have to give up ice cream to get six pack abs. However this does not mean I’m telling you to go get a tub of ice cream and eat half of it. I’m saying if you learn to moderate your intake of it, but still adhere to eating more whole foods, you will be off to a good start of your fat loss journey.

            While I do believe everyone has a freedom of choice in what they eat during their fat loss journey, I still advise against a few things that should be limited to only a couple times per week (If you cut them out altogether, great). I only have a few but here they are: Excessively sugary junk, partially or fully hydrogenated oils (Which includes fried foods, most cookies and crackers, etc) and Nutella (As you hide the empty Nutella bottle next to you as you read this). One thing you still need to make sure to consume daily though is vegetables. I don’t care how much you don’t like eating your vegetables. I’ll tell you some creative ways to eat them in some of the recipes I offer later on in this book.

Change is good… when you can moderate it

            Many people that go on a diet can just pull through and do it without any issues. The thing about these people though is the fact that they were most likely already made certain changes to make their fitness journey easier. This is where many other people fail to realize that just jumping into the swing of a diet is not an overnight thing. You need to condition yourself to go through this diet successfully.

            How do you do this? Simple. Start with some small changes. We all know habits are hard to break. That is why some people can’t just cut themselves one day from eating top ramen, taco bell, and mcdonalds one day to eating all Paleo the next day. You have to make small changes to influence a bigger change in the long run.

            So you eat white bread right now? Change to wheat bread one day. You eat cookies right now? Resort to the cookies that lack hydrogenated oils. You eat processed meat? Start cooking real meat (A George Foreman grill is great for those people who are in a time crunch). You don’t eat vegetables? Eat more vegetables. Resort from Hamburger helper and have some chicken and sweet potato instead. As you make these changes, you will feel much more comfortable doing so.

Don’t make it a quick fix… make it a lifestyle

            This goes along with my last section. If it’s not something you can’t adhere to in the long term, then what is your purpose of trying to lose fat in the first place? Take it one step at a time, and after a few months, you will come to realize that you’re doing a lot better making a few small changes gradually rather than making one big change. You don’t have to give up drinking with your buddies on the weekend, but if you want to make progress, you have to implement change. The end. Also, keep it simple as I said before. We’re not trying to figure out the Pythagorean Thereom, people.

           

Conclusion

            If you want to succeed, keep it simple. More food on the days you work out, less on the days you don’t. Then again, you don’t even have to do that! You could just eat the same every day and still witness similar results! Keep the changes small, but gradual. Hopefully this has helped you learn a little about how to successfully thrive in the long term.

           

Brunstein, J. C., Dangelmayer, G., & Schultheiss, O. C. (1996). Personal goals and social support in close relationships: Effects on relationship mood and marital satisfaction. Journal of personality and social psychology, 71(5), 1006.

Bugental, J. F., & Bugental, E. K. (1984). A fate worse than death: The fear of changing. Psychotherapy: Theory, Research, Practice, Training, 21(4), 543.

Dansinger, M. L., Gleason, J. A., Griffith, J. L., Selker, H. P., & Schaefer, E. J. (2005). Comparison of the Atkins, Ornish, Weight Watchers, and Zone diets for weight loss and heart disease risk reduction. JaMa: the Journal of the american Medical association, 293(1), 43-53.